This blog comes from Ajit Karve, Transformational TA Coach
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Comprehensive Self-Help Treatment
Please visit > Goals of TA and Daily Affirmations before reading further
Please visit > Goals of TA and Daily Affirmations before reading further
Berne describes cure as: Converting Frog into a Prince and Putting up a New Show on the Road. Eight methods help to achieve this. By:
- Having capacity to separate person from behaviour. Getting to accept and love the person and ignoring behaviour.
- Disengaging from game engagements or being adept in discarding their outcomes;
- Getting rid of Rackets;
- Becoming Stroke Accounting;
- Building an empowered Adult supported by a Permissive Parent and an Acquiescent Free Child;
- Healing the Script;
- Becoming free of mind-talk;
- Becoming free of the tendencies in being engaged in trash;
Self-Help Transactional Analysis Practices help to achieve these objectives by implementing some practices. They are:
1. Installing a Permissive Parent. Permissive Parent is endocrinologically programmed. An endocrinologically programmed Parent as a Controlling Parent is caring, being supporting and providing security; the Parent as a Nurturing Parent is kind, comforting, caring, helping, assisting and teaching. The process is facilitated by learning to be accepting, loving and friendly, forgiving and forgetting.
- Being accepting is connecting without bias, attribution or labelling.
- Being loving is generated by noticing, connecting, recognising, saying a word, praising and offering help and assistance. Charity begins at home. The practice of being loving best starts with one's spouse.
- Being friendly is being kind, caring, accepting, loving, forgiving and forgetting.
- Being forgiving is having the capacity to run an adverse thought again and again through one's mind space till it runs in peace.
- Being forgetting is not holding on to a thought, feeling, emotion, event or happening. Giving permission for it to go away helps.
2. Installing an Acquiescent Free Child. Fr. George prescribed two methods to achieve this. One: by eating a biscuit a day over 30-40 minutes; and two: by eating a meal a day over 40 minutes slowly, mindfully, deliberately without engaging in any other activity.
- Being accepting is connecting without bias, attribution or labelling.
- Being loving is generated by noticing, connecting, recognising, saying a word, praising and offering help and assistance. Charity begins at home. The practice of being loving best starts with one's spouse.
- Being friendly is being kind, caring, accepting, loving, forgiving and forgetting.
- Being forgiving is having the capacity to run an adverse thought again and again through one's mind space till it runs in peace.
- Being forgetting is not holding on to a thought, feeling, emotion, event or happening. Giving permission for it to go away helps.
2. Installing an Acquiescent Free Child. Fr. George prescribed two methods to achieve this. One: by eating a biscuit a day over 30-40 minutes; and two: by eating a meal a day over 40 minutes slowly, mindfully, deliberately without engaging in any other activity.
3. By self-contracting for closing escape hatches. It is implemented by saying this: No matter what happens, I will never say, do, act or express in a way that is likely to cause harm to myself, or another, or cause material damage, or cause financial losses or go crazy.
4. By self-contracting to be happy and joyful in a childlike way by being forgiving and forgetting.
5. Berne says that rackets are best discarded by allowing them to age in dust on shelves of closed shops. Berne describes rackets as feelings of anger, hurt, guilt, righteousness or triumph. They are justified and get escalated when questioned. Rackets are got rid of by replacing them with healthy feelings. Difficulty in doing this is overcome by offering permission to the mind as proposed earlier on.
6. Game is marked by a 'switch'. Switch is a crossed transaction. In switch a shift in the subject or topic discussed happens. It takes place because the other is called a name, blamed or held responsible. Game can be ended by going back to the topic under discussion and moving forward to its logical end. Expressing cordiality and having capacity for intimacy also help. Game occurs in informal relationships and in informal settings. Game is not possible when people observe discipline, cordiality, mutual love, forgiving and forgetting.
7. Becoming stroke accounting is easy when one has an Endocrinologically Programmed Parent and an Acquiescent Free Child in place. Accepting, loving, liking, having praise for a quality of another and freedom from bias help in stroke accounting.
8. An Empowered Adult is built by:
a. Pushing impulses from lower brain through the mid-brain to the fore-brain by deliberate activity promoting this process.
b. Patiently waiting, delaying and postponing in responding;
c. Asking how else may I?
d. Dealing with people, situations, problems, difficulties, challenges sanely, safely, effectively, appropriately and to the benefit of all free of put-downs.
9. Healing the Script: Rackety displays, fantasies, autistic thinking, escalated somatic ailments, racketing actions are manifestations of script activation. Driver behaviours and passive behaviours also signal onset of script-ridden-ness. Being script ridden is also manifest when we justify, protect and profess. We take any of the manifesting signs and reach the deep seated script beliefs and script feelings by asking these questions:
a. What thought is occupying my mind now? Note the thought.
b. What is the feeling associated with this thought? Note the feeling.
c. What is the emotion associated with this feeling? Note the emotion.
d. What is the body sensation associated with this emotion? Note the body sensation.
e. What is the thinking about me, my capacity, capability, life situation that is running in my mind? Note the thinking?
f. What is the feeling associated with this thinking / thought? Note the feeling.
Having done this the script cure process can be conducted. Go stage by stage backward from f. to a. By following these instructions slowly:
i. Notice the script feeling. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.
ii. Notice the script thought. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.
iii. Notice the body sensation. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.
iv. Notice the emotion. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.
v. Notice the feeling. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.
vi. Notice the thought. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.
Repeat the process three times. It heals one set of script belief and feeling combine. It is done repeatedly for manifesting script signs for a period of a month. The script gets healed without any intervention or analysis.
10. Ending mind-talk: Mind talk ends when we ask these questions:
a. What is this mind thinking. Keep wondering for a few seconds, typically 10 seconds.
b. Do I need to think. Keep wondering for a few seconds, typically 10 seconds.
c. Give the answer ‘No’. Wait in suspended abeyance for ten seconds.
Mind talk will cease. Keep using it again and again. The mind will become accustomed to a 'no thinking mind'.
11. Getting rid of trash: The many forms of scripty thinking, feeling, expressing emotions, actions, engagements and displays is trash. They are characterised by being justified, protected and professed. Drivers, passive behaviours, redefining transactions, roles on drama triangle, expressing racket feelings, engaging in racket activities and behaviours, games, stroke economy are their many manifestations. They are got rid off comfortably once we run the script healing process.
We create room for self improvement by admitting mistakes, unhealthy behaviours, rackets, personality defects and flaws. Self responsibility is an important quality that helps in self improvement. Stopping to blame one's upbringing, family or life condition helps. There are five moments in every second. Every moment provides occasion to take action for self improvement. Commitment, determination, sense of purpose and being dedicated to a cause promote neuro-genesis and neuro-plasticity. Cure is guaranteed to one who is patient, determined and goal-oriented.
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