Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice - A Comprehensive Cure Plan

This blog comes from Ajit Karve, BSc, BTA, a Transformational TA Coach

+919822024037; ajitpkarve@gmail.com

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A Comprehensive Cure Plan
Please visit > Goals of TA and Daily Affirmations before reading further

Twelve Month Liberating Sadhana
Designed by Ajit Karve

Month One
Do six things differently.
This promotes Neuro-genesis, Neuro-synthesis and Neuro-plasticity.

Month Two
Eat one meal a day slowly, deliberately, attentively  over 40 minutes without engaging in any other activity.

This frees the Free Child

Installing an endocrinologically programmed Permissive CP and NP

Month Three
Creating the moment
Entering the moment
Staying in the moment
Using Ajit Karve Technique

Month Four
Empowering the Adult by:

1. Patiently waiting, postponing and delaying responses to urges, drives and Impulses

2. Implementing Reality Principle

3. Implementing Social Control

4. Implementing Adult Reality Testing. This by pushing brain stem response through mid-brain to fore-brain

5. Learning to deal with Situations by ending them
Learning to deal with Problems      by solving them
Learning to deal with Difficulties   by facing them
Learning to deal with Conditions    by tiding over them
Learning to deal with Challenges    by facing them
Learning to deal with Conflicts       by accepting them
Learning to deal with People  by using game-free, level, open, honest interactions in intimacy.
All these while observing the thumb rule of: 'sanely, safely, effectively, appropriately and to the benefit of all'.

Month Five
Knowing Mind
Implementing Permissions Liberally
Using Ajit Karve Technique

Talking to body and talking to mind

Month Six
Implementing being loving, being friendly, being forgiving and being forgetting using Ajit Karve formulations

Month Seven
Discarding Rackets
Stopping blaming, hanging on hook, expecting, anticipating

Month Eight
Separating person and behaviour
Accepting the person and ignoring the behaviour. Dealing with behaviour in isolation by addressing personality with compassion.

Month Nine
Healing the early child
Using Ajit Karve Technique
0 to 6 months
6 to 12 months
12 to 18 months
18 to 36 months (3 years)
3 to 6 years

Month Ten
Healing  eight life stages
Using Ajit Karve Technique
1. Infancy
2. Early Childhood
3. Mid Childhood
4. Later Childhood
5. 10-12 year old
6a.13 to 19 year
6b.16 to 19 year
7. 19 to 29 year
8. 29 to 39 year

Month Eleven
Healing Script using Ajit Karve
Deep Dive technique

Month Twelve
Learning to stay in the moment

Practicing freedom from Psychological Time engagements

Practicing freedom from reach-backs and after-burns

Practicing improved interactions using VAK hierarchies and Paul Ware sequence methodologies.

Practicing intimacy dominant relating using roll-back and move-forward exercise

End of one year
Living life in new ways.

~~~~~

The one step journey to liberation from script-ridden-ness
Often takes a lifetime to accomplish.

Reason:
People believe the mythical to be (true) real;
and
The real to be mythical!

They pursue to know the mythical.
Instead of exploring the real.

What is real?
'Any and everything'
that affects us pleasurably or adversely is real.

What is it that conditions our perception.
It is an intrapsychic mechanism the organisation of which is structured by our core beliefs.

What are these beliefs?**
These are beliefs about
1. oneself
2. others
3. our quality of life entitlements
4. how good the world in which we live is conducive to our existence
5. how good we are to deal with the world successfully
6. the  attitude that will best get us what we want and succeed in not being forced to have what we don't want

How are these beliefs generated?
1. By attaching meaning
2. By process of personalisation
3. By implementing Procrustes and Unicorn
4. By attribution
5. By holding what is harmful, damaging, hurting and painful close to our heart and not letting it go

What is it that controls this process?
Chitta

What is chitta?
Psyche

What does psyche do?
It psyches us.

What is psyching?
Depriving us of our capacity for awareness. (भान रहात नाही).

How does it do it?
By making us believe that what we hold to be true is the only truth.

What are its activating components?
1. Memories of the framing beliefs listed above at **
2. Absence of awareness
3. Believing in destiny, fate, the imagined projections, mythical fantasies, incapacitating impositions to state a few.
4. Attribution (labelling i.e. naming classifying as good/bad, useful/useless, harmless/harmful)
and
5.Holding believed proofs to be the gospel truths (this is the cause of ignorance)

How do they manifest?
When we justify, protect and profess.

What is such a person called?
A script ridden person.

What is script?
Script is an intrapsychic mechanism that gets activated when the manifesting reality challenges our scripty view of reality.

What then happens?
The person becomes incapacitated, victimised and enslaved.

He perceives reality with an altered tunnel vision which he doggedly justifies as the only truth.

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Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice - Goals of TA & Daily Affirmations

This blog comes from Ajit Karve, Transformational TA Coach

+919822024037; ajitpkarve@gmail.com

See the other blogs here : Table of Contents

Goals of Transactional Analysis Practice

1. Achieving OK-ness, Capacity to Think, Capacity to make new Decisions.
2. Becoming a Self-Responsible, Self-Dependent, Empowered Individual.
3. Having a healthy personality: An empowered Adult supported by a Free Child and a Permissive Parent.
4. Fulfilling needs of Psychological Hungers in a healthy way.
5. Implementing Reality Principle, Reality Testing and Gaining Social Control.
6. Capacity for Intimacy.
7. Capacity to deal with Feeling, Emotional, Thinking, Behaviour Rackets.
8. Decision Making, Problem Solving, Game Free Interactions and Script Free Living.
9. Mind free of Mind Talk, Psychological Time Engagements and Transactional Rackets.
10. Good Mental Health, Psychological Well Being and Capacity for child-like happiness and joy.

~~~~~

Daily Affirmations

1. No matter what happens I commit myself to be free of self harm or other person harm.
2. No matter what happens I commit myself to be free of causing material damage or financial losses.
3. I commit myself to be aware of losing control over my thinking, feeling, or emotional hijacks.
4. I commit myself to accept and own my mistakes, rackets and racketing behaviours.
5. I commit myself to end situations and solve problems sanely, safely, effectively and rationally.
6. I commit myself to maintain discipline, cordiality, affection and intimacy in all interactions and relationships.
7. I commit myself to gain a happy state of mind and enjoy childlike happiness and joy;
8. I commit myself to generate the moment, enter the moment and use the moment for a better healthy me.

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Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice - Summing Up

This blog comes from Ajit Karve, Transformational TA Coach

+919822024037; ajitpkarve@gmail.com

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Summing Up

We have covered the entire content of Theory of Transactional Analysis. The contents not covered are trans-generational script transmission and structural and functional pathology in second order Parent and Child Structures. These latter are significant in understanding the manifestations of Critical and Rescuing Parent and Compliant, Rebel and Adapted Child in persons. 

It is the considered view of the author that Personality and Script are two faces of the same phenomenon. It is the phenomenon that affects a person's ego - the ego of Freud's Super-ego, Ego and Id model. It is so because it is the ego which has two dimensions. One dimension is the somatic component. The other is the psychological component which in Bernian TA is mentioned as psychic organs. The activated psychic organs manifest as personality PAC structures. Script Activation is accompanied by double contamination. This is the personality manifestation of script. It is evident in person taking up one of the six Stewart Personality Adaptations.  

Therefore upon one of the millions of triggers that affect a person's view of reality see > 08.01 Introduction to Script and thereby his or her frame of reference the script gets activated. The script requires five weak-spots to take over the system. They are: (1) Parental Directives (2) A suitable Personality Development (3) A Childhood Decision (4) A Real Turn-on to a particular method of success or failure, and (5) A convincing attitude. They all get activated together. Thereupon the script affects the person psychologically as well as somatically. We conclude from the Script System that some of many rackety displays* become evident alongside escalation of somatic ailments. 

*Here is a list of rackety displays in addition to items included in the script system diagram.

1. Experiencing stuckness, confusion, indecision, struggle, conflict.
2. Experiencing inadequacy, incompetency, and inability to manage emotional takeovers.
3. Experiencing inability to get out of emotional and thinking lock-jams.
4. Driver Behaviour.
5. Manifestations of Thinking Disorders.
6. Manifestation of Racket Behaviours and Moving to Game Roles.
7. Verbal patterns and 'gallows laughter', smiles.
8. Redefining Transactions.
9. Feeling helpless to get out of the existing pattern of thinking, feeling.
10. Justifying, protecting and professing one's views.
11. Inability to assume responsibility to be sane, safe, appropriate and effective.
12. Victimisation by arrogance, being cowed down, taken for a ride, exploitation, giving back and other related.
13. Using diversive tactics, postponing, bouncing off responsibility, failing to take proactive action.
14. Engaging in competitive symbiosis.
15. Manifestation of Passive Behaviours. 

Berne has mentioned that script cure is a far call. All one can do is to reduce the intensity, recurrence and remaining locked in games and also racket lock-jams. The rackets are thinking, feeling, emotional, behaviour, action, expression rackets in the main.

The author has after extensive research and application come to the conclusion that script cure can also be achieved in self help mode by using methods that indirectly generate changes in core areas of script contributors. See item 9 in 09.16 at > Implementing Self Therapy 6.

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Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice - Implementing Self Therapy 6

This blog comes from Ajit Karve, Transformational TA Coach

+919822024037; ajitpkarve@gmail.com

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Comprehensive Self-Help Treatment
Please visit > Goals of TA and Daily Affirmations before reading further

Berne describes cure as: Converting Frog into a Prince and Putting up a New Show on the Road. Eight methods help to achieve this. By: 

1. Having capacity to separate person from behaviour. Getting to accept and love the person and ignoring behaviour. 
2. Disengaging from game engagements or being adept in discarding their outcomes; 
3. Getting rid of Rackets; 
4. Becoming Stroke Accounting; 
5. Building an empowered Adult supported by a Permissive Parent and an Acquiescent Free Child; 
6. Healing the Script; 
7. Becoming free of mind-talk; 
8. Becoming free of the tendencies in being engaged in trash;

Self-Help Transactional Analysis Practices help to achieve these objectives by implementing some practices. They are:

1. Installing a Permissive Parent. Permissive Parent is endocrinologically programmed. An endocrinologically programmed Parent as a Controlling Parent is caring, being supporting and providing security; the Parent as a Nurturing Parent is kind, comforting, caring, helping, assisting and teaching. The process is facilitated by learning to be accepting, loving and friendly, forgiving and forgetting. 

- Being accepting is connecting without bias, attribution or labelling.

- Being loving is generated by noticing, connecting, recognising, saying a word, praising and offering help and assistance. Charity begins at home. The practice of being loving best starts with one's spouse.

- Being friendly is being kind, caring, accepting, loving, forgiving and forgetting.  

- Being forgiving is having the capacity to run an adverse thought again and again through one's mind space till it runs in peace.

- Being forgetting is not holding on to a thought, feeling, emotion, event or happening. Giving permission for it to go away helps.
 
2. Installing an Acquiescent Free Child. Fr. George prescribed two methods to achieve this. One: by eating a biscuit a day over 30-40 minutes; and two: by eating a meal a day over 40 minutes slowly, mindfully, deliberately without engaging in any other activity.

3. By self-contracting for closing escape hatches. It is implemented by saying this: No matter what happens, I will never say, do, act or express in a way that is likely to cause harm to myself, or another, or cause material damage, or cause financial losses or go crazy.

4. By self-contracting to be happy and joyful in a childlike way by being forgiving and forgetting.

5. Berne says that rackets are best discarded by allowing them to age in dust on shelves of closed shops. Berne describes rackets as feelings of anger, hurt, guilt, righteousness or triumph. They are justified and get escalated when questioned. Rackets are got rid of by replacing them with healthy feelings. Difficulty in doing this is overcome by offering permission to the mind as proposed earlier on. 

6. Game is marked by a 'switch'. Switch is a crossed transaction. In switch a shift in the subject or topic discussed happens. It takes place because the other is called a name, blamed  or held responsible. Game can be ended by going back to the topic under discussion and moving forward to its logical end. Expressing cordiality and having capacity for intimacy also help.  Game occurs in informal relationships and in informal settings. Game is not possible when people observe discipline, cordiality, mutual love, forgiving and forgetting. 

7. Becoming stroke accounting is easy when one has an Endocrinologically Programmed Parent and an Acquiescent Free Child in place. Accepting, loving, liking, having praise for a quality of another and freedom from bias help in stroke accounting.

8. An Empowered Adult is built by:

a. Pushing impulses from lower brain through the mid-brain to the fore-brain by deliberate activity promoting this process.

b. Patiently waiting, delaying and postponing in responding;

c. Asking how else may I?

d. Dealing with people, situations, problems, difficulties, challenges sanely, safely, effectively, appropriately and to the benefit of all free of put-downs.

9. Healing the Script: Rackety displays, fantasies, autistic thinking, escalated somatic ailments, racketing actions are manifestations of script activation. Driver behaviours and passive behaviours also signal onset of script-ridden-ness. Being script ridden is also manifest when we justify, protect and profess. We take any of the manifesting signs and reach the deep seated script beliefs and script feelings by asking these questions:

a. What thought is occupying my mind now? Note the thought.

b. What is the feeling associated with this thought? Note the feeling.

c. What is the emotion associated with this feeling? Note the emotion.

d. What is the body sensation associated with this emotion? Note the body sensation.

e. What is the thinking about me, my capacity, capability, life situation that is running in my mind? Note the thinking?

f. What is the feeling associated with this thinking / thought? Note the feeling.

Having done this the script cure process can be conducted. Go stage by stage backward from f. to a. By following these instructions slowly:

i. Notice the script feeling. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.

ii. Notice the script thought. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.

iii. Notice the body sensation. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.

iv. Notice the emotion. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.

v. Notice the feeling. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.

vi. Notice the thought. Notice it. Recognise it. Connect to it. Become comfortable with it. Accept it. Say it is OK to have it. Linger in relief for a while.

Repeat the process three times. It heals one set of script belief and feeling combine. It is done repeatedly for manifesting script signs for a period of a month. The script gets healed without any intervention or analysis.

10. Ending mind-talk: Mind talk ends when we ask these questions:

a. What is this mind thinking.  Keep wondering for a few seconds, typically 10 seconds.

b. Do I need to think. Keep wondering for a few seconds, typically 10 seconds.

c. Give the answer ‘No’. Wait in suspended abeyance for ten seconds.

Mind talk will cease. Keep using it again and again. The mind will become accustomed to a 'no thinking mind'.

11. Getting rid of trash: The many forms of scripty thinking, feeling, expressing emotions, actions, engagements and displays is trash. They are characterised by being justified, protected and professed. Drivers, passive behaviours, redefining transactions, roles on drama triangle, expressing racket feelings, engaging in racket activities and behaviours, games, stroke economy are their many manifestations. They  are got rid off comfortably once we run the script healing process.

We create room for self improvement by admitting mistakes, unhealthy behaviours, rackets, personality defects and flaws. Self responsibility is an important quality that helps in self improvement. Stopping to blame one's upbringing, family or life condition helps. There are five moments in every second. Every moment provides occasion to take action for self improvement. Commitment, determination, sense of purpose and being dedicated to a cause promote neuro-genesis and neuro-plasticity. Cure is guaranteed to one who is patient, determined and goal-oriented.

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Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice: Findings of Wilder Penfield

This blog comes from Ajit Karve, Transformational TA Coach
+919822024037; ajitpkarve@gmail.com
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Findings of Wilder Penfield
(Taken from BusinessBalls Site)
Link>Link to BusinessBalls Site

Eric Berne used Wilder Penfield's findings to conceptualise and define ego states.

Dr. Wilder Penfield (b.1891-d.1976) was an American-Canadian neurosurgeon. He began a series of scientific experiments in 1951 on the brains of live and conscious human subjects. He proved, that by touching a part of the brain (the temporal cortex) with a weak electrical probe, the brain could be caused to 'play back' certain past experiences, and the feelings associated with them. The patients 'replayed' these events and their feelings despite not normally being able to recall them using their conventional (conscious) memories.

Penfield's experiments went on over several years, and resulted in wide acceptance of the following conclusions:

• The human brain acts like a tape recorder, and whilst we may 'forget' experiences, the brain still has them recorded.
• Along with events the brain also records the associated feelings, and both feelings and events stay locked together.
• It is possible for a person to exist in two states simultaneously (because patients replaying hidden events and feelings could talk about them objectively at the same time).
• Hidden experiences when replayed are vivid, and affect how we feel at the time of replaying.
• Subjectsw recall past experiences with the 'meaning' and 'understanding' attached to it at the time prevailing.
• There is a certain connection between mind and body, i.e. the link between the biological and the psychological, eg a psychological fear of spiders and a biological feeling of nausea.

For more click here>Wilder Penfield Wikipedia Link

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Transactional Analysis and Practice: Implementing Self-Therapy 4

This blog comes from Ajit Karve, BSc, BTA, a Transformational TA Coach

+919822024037; ajitpkarve@gmail.com

See the other blogs here : Table of Contents

Implementing Self-Therapy 4
Please visit > Goals of TA and Daily Affirmations before reading further

Restraining Urges Drives and Impulses: 

These are restrained by learning to patiently wait, delay and postpone responses to urges, events and situations. Initially one needs to delay by five seconds. Then this can be extended over time as one gains the capacity to delay by five seconds. One learns to delay by many days. It helps to push the response loop from the brain stem through the mid brain, to the fore brain. Doing so helps to structure a sane, safe, effective and appropriate response. Sometimes no response is better and more effective than an inappropriate or ill timed response.

The above practice works well in the matter of response to people, events and situations too.

What does one do with feelings: 

Feelings are like traffic lights. Appropriate action is to be taken. Like when the traffic light is green traffic moves, when yellow it stops and when red it halts. Similarly sadness is discharged by sharing with someone close. Fear is discharged by being prepared with an actionable plan (if what we fear happens for real).  Anger is discharged by using the four steps of Non Violent Communication. They are: (1) Report the observation. eg. You are seated on my seat Sir. (2) Report the feeling. I am uncomfortable. (3) Report the need. I need my seat to be vacated. (4) Make a request. Sir, will you please vacate my seat.  

Freedom from expectation and anticipation:

Expecting and anticipating deprives us of peace of mind. We need to engage with the other instead of starting to become uncomfortable within us. Therefore this tendency is best got over by permitting the mind to do the needful. The mind is addressed like this: "O! my mind. I find that you are lock-jammed with this expecting and anticipating. I give you permission to be free of this lock-jam. Come, be relaxed. I will soon check up and take appropriate action." The urge and drive to be engaged in the expectation and anticipation will die.

Dealing with Pathologies:

Confusion indicates that Adult is excluded. Adult needs to be activated. How to do this. Wait for some time. A moment will come when we have clarity to think in some other less threatening matter. At that moment address the mind thus: "O! my mind. I give you permission to think. Please use it in the matter of  . . . . . (like what decision to make.)

Indeision means Child is excluded. Wait for sometime. Find the Child to be active like when engaged in fun talk with someone. We can get over indecision in that moment.

In struggle Parent is excluded. It is activated by becoming assessing and evaluating in a Parental way.

In conflict two sets of functional ego states engage in an internal dialogue. Adult is also excluded. Conflicts are ended by admitting and accepting that we are in conflict. Thereupon, the process of activating Adult is used. Conflict ends.

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Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice: Implementing Self-Therapy 3

This blog comes from Ajit Karve, BSc, BTA, a Transformational TA Coach

+919822024037; ajitpkarve@gmail.com

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Implementing Self-Therapy 3
Please visit > Goals of TA and Daily Affirmations before reading further

The topics in Self-Therapy 3 are:

1. Healing the early child;
2. Healing the eight persons per stages and ages;
3. Generating awareness for Body, Mind, Breath, Feelings and many more.

Healing the Early Child

First let us take a look at the table of ages and stages of human development:

The crucial stages of life are the first three to four months followed by the next six months. 

An infant can detect light and motion at birth. Later on it can make out faces and large shapes. It can make eye contact and focus on objects about twelve inches away by the end of the first month. It can distinguish between colours and focus on smaller objects by the time it is three to four months.

Babies can hear at birth. However, it hears sounds much like we hear sounds when we are under water. The middle ear is filled with amniotic fluid. It gets absorbed by he body by the time the infant is four months old. Another factor is sensitivity. It differs from infant to infant. However the infant starts responding to 'sounds' soon after it is a month old. 

Therefore, the infant's contact with the world is through touch. It is said that if babies do not receive enough of touch meaning holding, cuddling, caressing,  rocking, touching, and close seeing - from less than 12 inches away in the first month - the child is likely to develop neurological and emotional issues later in life. Studies in nurseries of confinement facilities have evidenced this. The milder forms of the condition is called anaclytic depression. Their more severe forms are called hospitalism. Retarded physical development, disruption of perceptual-motor skills and language are its manifestations. It shows up in adulthood as inability to manage stress and as emotional flights.

Infants need to be accepted, cared for, loved, nourished, touched and provided with a warm environment. In later months of infancy the baby needs to be given time. The significant figure for the infant is the mother. There is a biological symbiosis between mother and child. The child perceives itself as being part of mother in early infancy.  It is around the fourth month that the child starts seeing mother as separate from it. Eye contact, touch and speech are most crucial for the infant's development. 

Each of us can heal the infant in us by providing ourself with warmth, cosiness, nourishment, holding and touch. The pillow serves the best equipment to do this. It replaces the feeling of head being between breasts. Skin contact is also important. This is provided by being in physical proximity of our spouse or sibling or mother or another loving significant person. Hugging twice a day for fifteen seconds contributes a lot to boosting touch in us. 

Next in turn comes the child of age 10 to 18 months of age in us. The need of this child is constant attention, care, holding, providing assistance, providing safety and most importantly company. We can spare time every day to fulfill these needs in us.

Next in turn comes the child of age 19 to 36 months of age in us. The need of this child is constant talking, listening, attending, being in company, providing care, safety, comfort and participating in its activities. We can do the same for ourselves.

Then comes the child of age 36 to 72 months (3 to 6 years) of age in us. This child is struggling to establish its freedom boundaries and seeking independence by defying commands of parents and other elders. It is the most significant period of our life next to infancy. This stage surfaces again and again every thirteen and nineteen years some 10-12 times in our life span. It is the stage which hurts us the most if the 3 to 6 years has not been rewarding for right reasons. I invite you to read this short write up.  Seasons of Life - Interview of Pamela Levine.

The next significant period is of puberty. It starts at age of nine in girls and twelve in boys. It needs to be cared by us as adults too. Teenage years of 13 to 19 build self confidence in growing children. 

We need to revisit all these stages and heal them by providing the necessary care to them as adults. Please see note at end of this blog taken from Ages and Stages.

Healing Person of Eight Stages

Relating, adjustment, accommodation and somatic problems in adulthood including some types of anxiety attacks and depression have a lot to do with early life issues. 

The persons of eight stages are:

1. Infant
2. Early Childhood
3. Later Childhood
4. Latency Years 7-12
5. Puberty
6. Teenage
7. Early Youth
8. Youth Years

It is my considered opinion that we face most problems as adults when we cross 38-39 years of life. It is then that we complete two nineteen year cycles and three thirteen year cycles of human development. We are occupied in clearing stage related tasks of these stages more than living our life during our life till we are 39 years of age. We make decisions in three orientations:

1. I < > I
2. I < > You
3. I < > It 

Each decision has a labelling thought (I am no good / I need to struggle) and a related feeling (sad, fearful, angry) and a limiting view about enjoying life's endowments (to be happy, joyful, capable of thinking, being successful).

We can heal the persons of aforesaid ages in us and tend to their needs consciously and deliberately to grow up as empowered persons.

The problems related to identity stage keep cropping up through our life. They crop up with persons in close relationships spouse, siblings, parents and business partners in the main. There is an urge, a drive to resist the requests of others. To get our own requests accepted. To test freedom boundaries. To break free of bondage, if we don't we feel 'suffocated' in a way. The ages for identity stage are:

3-6; 16-19; 22-25; 29-32; 41-45; 55-58; 60-63 and 68-71; age years of our life.

problems arise when two persons are simultaneously in identity stage from the aforesaid relationships.  

Generating Awareness for various items

Generating awareness is connecting, accepting and recognising about the existence of many things that we do not know of and even if we know, we fail to acknowledge them.

Body awareness - It is generated by talking to our body at least once a day. One could say this: "Hey my body. You are the pillar of strength for me. I exist because of you. You be well. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you." 

Mind awareness - It is generated by talking to our mind at least once a day. One could say this: "Hey my mind. You are the source of my mental well being. You are caught in stormy seas all through the day. Take care. I grant you permission to be responsive, to assert before others, to be important, to succeed, to think, to relate and be well. I will continue talking to you as and when required to empower you to deal with my challenges of life.

Thought awareness - It is generated by asking ourselves this question: "What is this mind thinking." It can be repeated many times a day. It helps to relieve us of the stress generated by unnecessary occupation with psychological time engagements. Time itself is an illusion. It exists nevertheless for us because we live on earth. There are three types of time: Clock time, goal time and psycholgocial time. We live in clock time, we are pushed by goal time and remain occupied in psychological time. This splitted living is the cause of stress in our lives. Berne says that most of us are in a combination of clock time and goal time. It is the cause of stress. Click here: Psychological Time - Eckhart Tolle to know about psychological time.

Feelings awareness: Every emotion is an escalation of a feeling. The circle of feelings and emotions charts this connection.

We can deal with the emotions appearing along the periphery by identifying the inner linked emotion and then the feeling at the centre. Speak about the emotion as a feeling. Using a jargon word such as depression or dyslexic is damaging. I can use sad and forgetting instead.

Emotional Awareness: This is gained by knowing what mood or emotion is ruling my mental state in the moment. 

Urges, Drives and Impulses Awareness: Most things in life go wrong because we act on urges, drives and impulses. Having awareness about these three things helps us a lot to be free of committing mistakes. One way is to patiently wait before reacting, acting or responding to a person, event, situations.

Permission Awareness: Our mind works in an either / or mode. It is like an electrical switch. We say that the switch is 'on' or 'off'. In reality it is on all the time. It is on in 'on position' or on in 'off position'. When we are unable to use our endowments, capacities or permissions our mind is on in 'off position' to use them. All we need to do is to give permission to the mind by addressing the mind and saying "O! my mind. I give you permission to be close". Then we can be close. Similarly for other things.

Take example of thinking in the face of a problem. Our mind becomes numbed. Say this and experience the magic. "O my mind. I give you permission to think. I give you permission to muster your capacities to solve this problem. I give you permission to solve this problem." see the magic happen.

Take another example of being lock-jammed in an emotion. We are not even aware that we are hating, disliking, sad, hurt or isolated or any other. We become aware or gain awareness by asking this question. "What is my prevailing feeling. Happy, Sad, Angry, Fear." Then tell the mind this: "O my mind. I grant you permission to be happy and joyful. I grant you permission to express the . . . . . feeling / emotion and discharge the feeling safely." 

Happiness is not a feeling or emotion. It is the state of a healthy mind. We can recover this capacity by saying this to our mind: "Hey my mind. I grant you permission to be happy and joyful in a childlike way now and always." Then affirm I can be happily angry, I can be happily sad, I can be happily fearful. I do not need to get rid of anger, sadness or fear to be happy. It is our base state and we can return to it time and again. It is a great gift we can give ourself.

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The following are the stages of development:

1. Infancy:

This period extends from birth to 18 months of age. This is called the age of trust v/s mistrust. The infant who comes to the new environment, from mother’s womb needs only nourishment. If the child’s caretaker, the mother anticipates and fulfills these needs consistently, the infant learns to trust others, develops confidence. Inevitably the child will experience moments of anxiety and rejection. If the infant fails to get needed support and care, it develops mistrust which affects its personality in later stages of life.

2. Early childhood:

This stage ranges from 18 months to 3 years. By second year of life, the muscular and nervous systems have developed markedly, and the child is eager to acquire new skills, is no longer content to sit and watch. The child moves around and examines its environment, but judgement develops more slowly.

The child needs guidance. In the crisis of autonomy v/s doubt faced during this period, the critical issue is the child’s feeling of independence.

In an extremely permissive environment, the child encounters difficulties that it cannot handle, and the child develops doubt about its abilities. Similarly if the control is severe, the child feels worthless and shameful of being capable of so little.

The appropriate middle position, respecting the child’s needs and environmental factors, requires the caretaker’s careful and constant attention.

3. Middle childhood:

This stage extends from 3-5 years. The crisis faced during this period is initiative v/s guilt. Once a sense of independence has been established, the child wants to tryout various possibilities. It is at this time the child’s willingness to try new things is facilitated or inhibited.

If the care taker recognises the child’s creative effort in attempting to do some activities is encouraged, the crisis will be resolved in favourable direction and this outcome, if repeated, should influence the future initiative. Otherwise the child develops feelings of guilt.

4. Late childhood:

This period ranges from 5-12 years. During this period the child develops greater attention span, needs less sleep, and gains rapidly in strength; therefore, the child can expend much more effort in acquiring skills, and needs accomplishment, regardless of ability. The crisis faced during this period is industry v/s inferiority.

The child aims to develop a feeling of competence, rather than inability. The success in this endeavour leads to further industrious behaviour, failure results in development of feelings of inferiority. Hence, the caretakers should guide the child to take up appropriate tasks.

5. Adolescence:

This is a period of transition from childhood to adulthood which extends from 12-20 years. During this period the individual attains puberty leading to many changes. These changes have enormous implications for the individual’s sexual, social, emotional and vocational life; that is why Stanley Hall has rightly described this period as a “period of storm and stress”.

These changes make the individual to find an identity, which means developing an understanding of self, the goals one wishes to achieve and the work/occupation role. The individual craves for encouragement and support of caretakers and peer groups. If he is successful he will develop a sense of self or identity, otherwise he will suffer from role confusion/ identity confusion.

6. Early adulthood:

This stage extends from 20-30 years. As an adult, the individual takes a firmer place in society, usually holding a job, contributing to community and maintaining a family and care of offspring. These new responsibilities can create tensions and frustrations, and one solution involves is, an intimate relationship with family. This situation leads to a crisis called intimacy v/s isolation.

If these problems are solved effectively by the love, affection and support of family the individual leads a normal life, otherwise he will develop a feeling of alienation and isolation which in turn affects his personality negatively.

7. Mature adulthood:

This period ranges from 30-65 years. It is otherwise called middle age. During this stage of life, the crisis encountered is generativity v/s stagnation. This requires expanding one’s interests beyond oneself to include the next generation. The positive solution to the crisis lies not only in giving birth to children, but also in working, teaching and caring for the young, in the products and ideas of the culture, and in a more general belief in the species.

This response reflects a desire for wellbeing of the humanity rather than selfishness. If this goal is not achieved the individual will be disappointed and experience a feeling of stagnation.

8. Old age:

This stage is the extension after 65 years till death. By this age people’s goals and abilities have become more limited. The crisis in this stage is the integrity v/s despair in which the person finds meaning in memories or instead looks back on life with dissatisfaction. The term integrity implies emotional integration; it is not accepting one’s life as one’s own responsibility. It is based not so much on what has happened but, as on how one feels about it.

If a person has found meaning in certain goals, or even in suffering, then the crisis has been satisfactorily resolved. If not, the person experiences dissatisfaction, and the prospect of death brings despair. The declining physical health conditions, decreased income, death of spouse, etc. will still more worsen these feelings.

Havighurst (1953) prepared a developmental model in which he has presented the list of developmental tasks from birth to old age. Every cultural group expects its members to master certain essential skills and acquire certain approved patterns of behaviour at various ages during the life span. Havighurst has labelled them developmental tasks.

According to him a developmental task is ‘a task which arises at or about a certain period in the life of the individual, successful achievement of which leads to happiness and to success with later tasks, while failure leads to unhappiness and difficult with later tasks’.

Although most people would like to master these tasks at the appropriate time, some are unable to do so, while others are ahead of schedule. Though these tasks are applicable to American population, they are generally accepted to be applicable to all. They are as follows:

Infancy:

This stage covers approximately first two weeks of life. It is the shortest developmental period. It is a time for radical adjustment. The new born infant must make four major adjustments to post natal life viz.,

(i) To temperature changes

(ii) To sucking and swallowing

(iii) To breathing

(iv) To elimination.

3. Babyhood and Early Childhood:

(i) Learning to take solid foods

(ii) Learning to walk and talk

(iii) Learning to control the elimination of body wastes

(iv) Learning sex differences and sexual modesty

(v) Getting ready to read

(vi) Learning to distinguish right and wrong and beginning to develop conscience.

4. Late Childhood:

(i) Learning physical skills necessary for ordinary games

(ii) Building a wholesome attitude toward oneself as a growing organism

(iii) Learning to get along with age-mates

(iv) Beginning to develop appropriate masculine or feminine social roles.

(v) Developing fundamental skills in reading, writing and calculating.

(vi) Developing concepts necessary for everyday living

(vii) Developing a conscience, a sense of morality, and a scale of values

(viii) Developing attitudes toward social groups and institutions.

(ix) Achieving personal independence.

5. Adolescence:

(i) Achieving new and more mature relations with age-mates of both sexes

(ii) Achieving a masculine or feminine social role

(iii) Accepting one’s physic and using one’s body effectively

(iv) Desiring, accepting, and achieving socially responsible behaviour

(v) Achieving emotional independence from parents and other adults

(vi) Preparing for an economic career

(vii) Preparing for marriage and family life

(viii) Acquiring a set of values and an ethical system as a guide to behaviour-developing an ideology.

6. Early Adulthood:

(i) Getting started in an occupation

(ii) Selecting a mate

(iii) Learning to live with a marriage partner

(iv) Starting a family

(v) Rearing children

(vi) Managing a home

(vii) Taking on civic responsibility

(viii) Finding a congenial social group.

7. Middle Age:

(i) Achieving adult civic and social responsibility

(ii) Assisting teenage children to become responsible and happy adults

(iii) Developing adult leisure-time activities

(iv) Relating oneself to one’s spouse as a person

(v) Accepting and adjusting to the physiological changes of middle age

(vi) Reaching and maintaining satisfactory performance in one’s occupational career

(vii) Adjusting to aging parents.

8. Old Age:

(i) Adjusting to decreasing physical strength and health

(ii) Adjusting to retirement and reduced income

(iii) Adjusting to death of spouse

(iv) Establishing an explicit affiliation with members of one’s age group

(v) Establishing satisfactory physical living arrangements

(vi) Adapting to social roles in a flexible way. (Courtesy: Developmental psychology, Elizabeth B. Hurlock)

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