TA Theory and Practice: Spare 1

Implementing Practice 1

We begin with closure of escape hatches by making this self contract. No matter what happens I will never ever harm myself, or harm another, or cause material damage, or go crazy. This constitutes the first step.

The second step is to implement the three philosophical assumptions of TA. They are:

1. People are OK
2. People can Think
3. People can make new decisions to change the course of their lives.

People are OK: This is an assertion. We all have the capacity for Respect, Regard, Acceptance and Esteem. The permissions to experience these are capped. It is a flip-flop act. Realisation is the key. 

People can Think: Our capacity to think is capped because of psycho-pathology. Confusion, indecision, struggle and conflict are its obvious manifestations. They are shown in the figure below.

Figure for showing

Confusion, Indecision, Struggle and Conflict

We need to distinguish between situation, problem, difficulty, challenge and conflict. We also need to know what to do when we face them. Here are the actions to take:

• Situation - end the situation;
• Problem - solve the problem;
• Difficulty - overcome the difficulty;
• Challenge - face the challenge;
• Conflict - Accept its existence, take a step back and resolve it;

Feelings cap our capacity to think. Feelings are sensations. They are similar to traffic signals. Each of them has a specific action plan.

• Feeling Sad - share it with someone;
• Feeling Angry - use the Non Violent Communication Method;
• Feeling Fear - accept what is feared to be coming true and prepare for it;

[Non Violent Communication Method: It is accomplished in four steps.]

1. Report the observation; (You are using bad language);
2. Communicate the feeling; (I am not liking it);
3. Communicate the need; (I like you, speaking without using bad language);
4. Make a request: (Please speak without using bad language);

The wheel of feelings and related emotions is a good tool to know the emotions associated with a given feeling.

As examples: When we feel hate or resentment, we can conclude that the associated feeling is anger. We can discharge it by using Non Violent Communication method. Similarly, when we feel ignored or guilty, we can conclude that the associated feeling is sad. We can share the feeling to discharge it. When we feel frightened or anxious, we can be prepared for the possibility of the event we fear, expect or anticipate happening for real. We generate an action plan. Our preparedness gives us a sense of relief (in fact we do not feel the same anxiety again because we are now ready for the event) when it shows up again.

The operation of the injunction 'don't think' may also cap this capacity. To know more click here. Other injunctions may also contribute in this regard. They are don't grow up, don't be you and  don't be successful.

People can make new decisions to change the course of their lives:

Script retains its homeostasis and poses an inertia. Therefore any action with regard to script needs to be made supervised by a trained professional.

There are a few ways of dealing with script decisions made in childhood. These are decisions that have set up our life leading to its script payoff. We can deal with them in manner most suitable.

Script requires (1) Parental directives (2) A suitable personality development (3) A childhood decision (4)  A real turn-on a particular method of success or failure, and (5) A convincing attitude. *Berne in What Do You Say After You Say Hello. The easiest of these is to work on personality constituents. Uncovering a childhood decision takes time. However, once revealed they are the most effective in overcoming script control.

Script can by healed by running a six stage script healing process developed by the author. A person goes 'down' to the thinking and feeling associated with the script decision. Any thought can be used for doing this. Hold in mind the prevailing thought. Now start the process. Note the associated feeling, then the associated emotion, then the associated somatic sensation, and finally the related script thinking and script feeling feeling associated with the relevant script decision. Now work upward with six steps of healing. Please click here to reach the relevant blog under Transformational Transactional Analysis.

Script denies liberties and permissions to the person affected by it. The denying factors act like a wall which the person affected finds difficult to break through. This itself is a belief. It is a mythical belief. The person can act once he understands the nature of mythical beliefs.

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