This blog comes from Ajit Karve, BSc, BTA, a Transformational TA Coach
+919822024037; ajitpkarve@gmail.com
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Group 3 Goals
Effective Social Control
Social Control is the capacity in a person to resist the manipulation by another or other/s, and also resist the urge to manipulate another, or other/s.
Using Reality Principle
Reality Principle is the guiding principle which gets an individual to attempt to judge beforehand the consequences of various courses of actions. This as opposed to responding driven by urge, drive or impulse.
Using Adult Reality Testing
Reality Testing is a specific function of Adult ego state and not an isolated faculty (of brain). Reality testing helps a person to update, validate and store experiences with new meaning and understanding. It helps to respond to the world based on Adult data and evaluations of reality instead of on borrowed frames of Parent and outdated, archaic frames of the Child. Simply put Reality Testing is the ability in a person to test subjective appraisals of reality on the touchstone of objective here - now reality.
Acquiescent Free Child
An acquiescent Free Child helps a person to enjoy life and be happy in a childlike way. The Child is the storehouse and controller of psychic energy. By having a Free Child, the person becomes empowered to gain relief from the battering by the Punitive Parent. Not only that, it helps to treat the Parent and install a Permissive Parent. Acquiescence means reluctantly agreeing. The manner in which the Adult deals with reality is not to the liking of the Child. It however keeps itself away from interfering with the Adult in this enterprise. Therefore the Adult is able to evaluate and deal with reality and respond using age appropriate Adult capacities.
Installing a Permissive Parent
A Permissive Parent is endocrinologically programmed. In its role as a Controlling Parent it functions to provide safety, security, encouraging with trust and self-reliance, supportive of growth and respecting the child's endeavours as being driven by developmental needs and tasks. In its role as a Nurturing Parent it is loving, caring, helping, teaching and supporting growth.
Empowered Adult
An empowered Adult is free of pathology. It has capacity to generate multi views. Its hallmark is the ability to patiently wait, delay and postpone responses to urges, drives and impulses. It is the source of evaluated and mature responses to reality. It helps in ending situations sanely, safely and effectively. It is able to conduct reality testing.
An empowered Adult has capacity for conscious awareness. It is thus able to push autonomous responses originating in the lower brain through the mid-brain to the fore-brain. Such an Adult not only empowers itself further, it also gives itself the capacity to store new experiences. These experiences help in later times to make realistic appraisals, evaluations and assessments of reality.
An empowered Adult has capacity for conscious awareness. It is thus able to push autonomous responses originating in the lower brain through the mid-brain to the fore-brain. Such an Adult not only empowers itself further, it also gives itself the capacity to store new experiences. These experiences help in later times to make realistic appraisals, evaluations and assessments of reality.
Being free of Submission to Script
Awareness is the key. Being aware of justifying, protecting and promoting is the peep-hole to knowing. Being aware of our own tendency to use naming, attributions and harbouring bias, reveals movement to script. Movement to script takes place with redefining. Redefining is marked by Passive Behaviours, Redefining Transactions, Competitive Symbiosis and movement to Drama Triangle Roles. Movement to Script is also marked by signs of Rackety Behaviours and escalation of somatic ailments. Awareness about movement to one of three unhealthy life positions, or one of three not-OK Miniscript positions, or one of three Drama Triangle positions, or manifestation of Passive Behaviours or becoming Driver compliant reveals movement to script.
Being free of Submission to Script is an art of using the moment without planning. Berne says that the key to freedom from movement to script is walking out of the games we play. Fr. George recommends installing positive aspects of personality. I recommend generating a healthy personality by installing a permissive Parent and an acquiescent Free Child alongside empowering the Adult.
Discarding Racket Feelings
We hold on to feelings of hurt, pain, insult, isolation, ego hurt, embarrassment, guilt, sadness, frustration, anxiety, distress, dislike, hate and many other feelings. These feelings affect our mind. There are ways to relieve our mind of racket and emotional lock-jams. These are covered later on.
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