Transactional Analysis Theory and Practice: Curtain Raiser 2

This blog comes from Ajit Karve, BSc, BTA, a Transformational TA Coach

+919822024037; ajitpkarve@gmail.com

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Curtain Raiser 2

Practice of Transactional Analysis is determined by what we want out of life. The results are comprehensive and all encompassing. Eric Berne says that we are born to live lives of princes. Our parenting has turned us into frogs, The enterprise of learning and practising Transactional Analysis is to recover the capacity to live the life of a prince; to bring down the curtain on the ongoing show and raise it up to a new show on the street. What does this mean? It means:

1. Having a heightened level of awareness: About our surroundings, events around us, our understanding and interpretation of them, about thoughts that occupy our thinking, about feelings and emotions that are difficult to give up, about what we say and their effects on others, about our responses to people and events, about our capacity to be happy and joyful in all circumstances of life in a childlike way.
2. Change in attitude toward ourselves, others, life generally and our capacity to enjoy our endowments. Having capacity for permissions and allowers.
3. Change in patterns of perception, evaluation, assessment and response to reality situations. 
4. Capacity for effecting reality principle, reality testing and social control.
5. Capacity to think free of beliefs, thinking disorders and tunnel vision.
6. Capacity to convert emotions into feelings and discharge feelings safely.
7. Being free of stress, psychological time engagements and engaging in transactional rackets.
8. Capacity to act on situations, problems, difficulties, challenges and conflicts appropriately, effectively and conclusively.
9. To spend time being alone without feeling lonely and to spend time in the company of others with equal ease and comfort.
10. To keep moving toward our goals despite difficulties and challenges by implementing the formulations of a winner.
11. To be aware about movement to script proneness and act to get out of its control by doing things that are conducive. 
12. Being able to separate person from behaviour; loving and accepting the person and ignoring the behaviour or dealing with it safely and effectively.
13. Being able to be loving, friendly, forgiving and forgetting.
14. Being comfortable with a quiet mind. 
15. Ability to generate the moment and use the moment.

One second of time is l-o-n-g. It is the time we take to say one-hundred-and-one. There are roughly five moments in every second. Every moment is of value and can be used for making a review of our thinking, feeling, emotional lock-ups, behaviour, reach-backs and after-burns. The easiest method is to ask: What is this mind thinking? and then spending a few seconds in exploration and following with the next question: Do I need to think / dwell on the topic? Again spending a few seconds thereafter and answering this: "No". Presto we have generated the moment. Over time we succeed in becoming a person possessing a meditative mind through the day.

There is a method to be free of things that are undesirable. It is this. Insert the desirable. In a mechanical sense pushing in the desirable pushes out some desirable and some undesirable. Retain the desirable and discard the undesirable. Keeping on doing this process over time gets us to incorporate the desirable for ever. We can start with things small. For example by mindfully wearing the left shoe instead of the one in the right leg which we do by habit. 

Contracts for change are to be worded in do-able. For example: Making profit in business instead of 'not making losses' or 'not incurring losses' ; Succeeding instead of not failing; loving, liking, being comfortable instead of not hating, not disliking, not being uncomfortable; and the like.

Some more are mentioned here:

1. Viewing Driver engagements as a way to keep afloat in the sea of scripty living. A suggested way to act is by dealing with the prevailing condition of thinking - feeling lock-jam in awareness. This is done by granting permission to our mind to be at peace. Then assuming responsibility to dismantle the existing condition of worry, anxiety, distress, guilt, shame, getting fooled or cheated or taken for a ride, anger, fear, feeling bad or sorry or regretful, isolation, failure to act in time or sanely or safely or appropriately and many other.
2. Disregarding the compulsion to comply with Parental directives. Remember these include the sane 'program' of how to implement script.
3. Being aware of scripty impulses. These show up as the irresistible itch to do something or go give back.

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